Memories of my 'Chhote Mama'!

Hyderabad,  August, 2020.

When he was born, he was the younger brother. So, his parents named him 'Chhote'. Even his younger siblings called him 'Chhote' bhaiyya (younger brother).

My chhote mama recently passed away because of Covid. It is painful, because it happened very soon, and from a man who was walking freely, to a straight pan dead body!

I don't want to cry now, because I have admired my Chhote mama's (uncle) positive patience, always from a very young age. It is one feature of his personality which I had admired. 

I am sharing some of the memories, which I have cherished all my life, some memories, which are pretty clearly imprinted on my mind, some time I had spent with him alone. Let us begin:

MEMORY-1

Secunderabad, 1994

I was little!

My mama had come to our place in Trishul Line, Secunderabad. These are some very clear visual memories of Trishul line. Our house was on the ground floor. He had come home. 

He asked me, "Do you sleep outside?" I replied, "No, mama." He said, let us try it tonight. He started setting up a couple of beds outside the house. I was just helping him do the same. In fact, I was pretty embarrassed too, as I had my friends from around were giving me the looks which shouted, "Oh you are sleeping outside?"

But I set up the cot, put the mattress and the pillows. I had to go in to have dinner, but just to check the bed, I lied down on it. Suddenly, I looked up and the sight shook me by surprise. I saw the wide, wide sky. 

It would have been my one of the first sightings of the clear sky. It was so grand, so heavenly, that I forgot all the stupid looks I got from the world around me. I felt like thanking him, but I could not, because back then, I used to be shy of talking to any guests of mine. 

But the image of the wide night sky, with a lovely breeze. 

Lesson: My chhote mama, taught me not to change my decisions because of the world around.  This is one lesson, which later changed my decisions later in my career. 

It definitely helped me not to think of the 'stupid looks' around and enjoy the heavenly sky above us!

 

MEMORY-2

Mumbai, 2012

The year was 2012. I was staying all alone in Mumbai, and I never knew if any of my relatives would ever visit me. But it was a good news one day, that he said that he had come to Mumbai for some meeting. He wanted to meet me. He said, he will spend the evening with me. I was delighted. 

I set up my room, and within half an hour, he arrived. I have always preferred sitting on the ground. I get this 'Indian' habit from my parents. I have also propagated this habit in front of my non-Indian friends.

Chhote mama came home that day, and he came and sat down on the durrie or the mat on the ground. I gave him something to eat. While eating it, he said he liked my house, for the closeness to the main road and the sea. I got excited and I asked him to accompany for a walk to the beach. So, we walked and spoke about everything under the sun. This included about things like my job in the film industry to my knowing people's weird habits in a big city.  As we talked, we stopped at a paani-puri wala. 

I told him the difference between the Hyderabadi Gupchup, the Delhi golgappa, the Mumbai Paanipuri and of course the Bihari puchka. I would realise once in a while that I am talking a lot, but he would always have that 'patience' to listen to me more.

As the paanipuri waala gave us the bowls, Chhote mama asked the vendor in north Indian Hindi, "Kahan se ho tum?"

As he heard the North Indian accent, he replied with a smile, "Sahab, Allahabad!" 

We then had a nice conversation of how the UP-Bihar labour ran the whole of Mumbai. We were very happy that evening, and we never got to know how lovely time passed. 

Lesson: Though Chhote mama left me soon, standing at the sea. I went ahead to sit at the beach and ponder about this amazing lesson from him- TO LISTEN. 

Later in my life, this definitely made me a great listener. Thanks Mama :)

MEMORY-3

New Delhi, 2015

Chhote mama had come to my place in Delhi for another evening. I had just finished making a short film. So, he happened to become my first audience. Before I put the film online, I thought I will show it to him. He came home, met my room-mate, Tushar and sat down on the ground again. We both gave him chai andas he exchanged pleasantries, I opened my laptop to show my new work.

Usually, when I screen my film, I don't talk, and I expect the viewer to do the same. But there are many people who start asking questions mid-way. 

But Chhote mama was the first 'Non-film student' who was so interested in watching my film. He saw one patiently. He did not say a word. Then asked me if I can show more. I, very happily, showed him one by one.

I was blown away by his patience! Actually, blown away.

We took another walk and dropped him to the Metro station.

Lesson: It taught me patience to watch people's work, even if the person was not from my field.

Hyderabad, 2020

When he was born, he was the younger brother. So, his parents named him 'Chhote'. Even his younger siblings called him 'Chhote' bhaiyya (younger brother).

Last week, when I saw my Chhote mama's dead body placed with him,

 lying down on the death pyre, or the chita. 

He seemed very composed, very quiet.

As I held the torch to light it up, 

in flashes I thought of all these moments.

I felt he was transmitting so much of positivity into me. 

I bowed down, accepted his positivity and lit it up.

"Aum shaanti"